Friendly Communication: Body, Voice, and Mind

     Communication is an important part of living. Especially as a writer, too. You're going to meet lots of new, and possibly intimidating, people, and whether you're a writer or not, it's best to approach someone in a certain way. Looking at animals, body language is very detrimental to communication; when a dog's in fight-or-flight mode it's teeth are bared, and its hackles are raised. The same thing works with humans. We might not snarl, or raise our necks when angry--scary image, I know--so the question is how do we use our language, spoken and physical, to send a clear message to a peer or co-worker?
     At work, I meet with a lot of students from many different backgrounds. Some are native speakers, and it's easier to communicate, while others can be transfer students from different levels of education--or even different cultures! I try to keep myself open to whatever comes, and keep myself open and friendly.
     Being open and friendly doesn't just mean keeping a smile glued on. It means carrying a certain composure. If I were to walk up to another writer, published or not, things would go much smoother in introductions if I were standing straight, keeping eye contact, and my hands arms were visible at all times; furthermore, if I was to greet them screaming, arms crossed, and possibly one hand behind my back, I could be taken as a threat. Of course it's an exaggeration, but it works.
     When I meet the student, no matter what background, I greet them with my name, a soft, friendly tone, and arms out and seen. I make eye contact, but don't stare into them to find the inner-direction of their soul's desires. Tutoring, I sit down, turned slightly towards them, and I'm a foot away as to not hover on them. If standing, I would be at an angle, as well; sitting or standing directly in front of a person can be seen as off-putting and tense. I don't cross my arms, and if I get comfortable in my chair, I might sit in a relaxed way. Standing comfortably, if that were the situation, you would loosen up and not be so tense.
     To give an example, police-officers crouch low to speak with a child when they're hurt, upset, scared, or just conversing. This puts the officer at level with the child and takes away the image of someone stern and intimidating. Another would be when someone's dealing with an angered person; people can be upset for many reasons, such as the child, but speaking with open posture and gestures, and a soft tone (not too soft, though. You don't want to come off as condescending), the situation could be lowered into an understanding discussion of the situation.
     I was tutoring a student today, and with her final draft due the following week, she was stressed for perfection. It's common to see these situations. It's even more common to see it when the paper is due the next day, so I came into the session letting her know we had time to work on it. I kept my tone soft, and I pulled myself away from the tutoring sheet and red pen (I would go back to take notes, but a red pen is something we all know as a horrible thing inflicted on us in grade school, so space worked out there). The situation was lowered, but she was stressed that her examples in the paper spoke on their own, not needing discussion to explain. I grew comfortable, so I lifted my legs onto the chair, sitting on my thigh.
     "With essays," I started, "the reader's coming in for information."
     She didn't look at me, but she stared at her essay.
     "In fiction, the reader works to use their imagination and put themselves in the story. Here, however, we want to do the opposite and show the readers step by step how this example relates to everything."
     "But it should stand on its own," she said.
     I discussed it further with some examples, and she had a better understanding. The situation would have been much more stressful if I raised my tone and did something as simple as turned away, or crossed my arms.
     Having open body language and a friendly outflow of discussion creates positive socialization. The use of negative tone, raised volume, or acting intense, direct, and even mean can have repercussions whether in simple speech or professional settings. This works with writing as well, but without the use of body-language; the tone and direction you take in communication is what your audience will use to assess the situation. Whether you're working on campus with just-as-stressed students, or at home with your parents, communicating in a outflow of positive vibes can make even the most direct and negative situations into something approachable.

Finals--Chaos And a Word-processor

     Working in the Writing-Center, it's a lie to say we don't notice the holiday chaos. The computer lab has been at, if not completely, near full capacity; the tables, reserved for one-on-one tutoring, are filled with papers, laptops, and every type of pen and pencil, making the center look as though there was a massive printing deadline at the Campus's Journalism department, but it's not the Journalism department--it's the entire school It's the end of the Fall semester at my community-college, and students are hunkering down, cogs spinning, working towards the end with a final push for the questionably well deserved A+. 
     As another student, I make sure I wake up with enough time to shave and make myself presentable, record and go over the day's plan, review any writing or revision notes I have for stories, and ultimately scarf down a boiling bowl of burnt oatmeal before the clock hits 8:05 A.M..
     The drive is pleasant, and my twin-brother, manning the radio, makes sure there's enough music to keep it interesting. Parking isn't an issue anymore; at the beginning of the semester, the lot, and street, would be filled at 8 A.M.. Once I get to school and set into the greatest parking spot in the world, and situated for work at the center, I have no idea what goes on outside the doors.
     Today, It took me until after my first shift to remember that I had a math final this upcoming Monday and I would need my shift covered; it took me until my final shift to remember I even had a twin-brother. The constant barrage of students, each with their reasons why the paper's due tomorrow, and they are barely drafting a thesis, boggles the mind, and forces us tutors to keep quick and adaptable. We're kind, understanding, nurturing people, and if we weren't then by God we shouldn't be tutoring. It's not just the students, however, caught in this mad frenzy, but we too are affected by this rush.
     Some of us could be on our breaks, or in-between shifts, crumpled away in the break-room, studying or reworking a thesis paper. Others of us dash to the computer-lab on these off times before a computer could be swiped--respectfully, of course--hurrying to type up the next essay, story submission, and lab-report. The winter mindset has befallen us all, and turned the population of college students into ravenous creatures.
     By the time I return home, I'm dead tired, and forced to scribe out around 50 equations of Algebra before I can write. When I hit the word-processor, nothing comes out but dull ideas, unoriginal plots, and dialogue that could make the writer's of the recent Twilight films into Shakespearian poets; tutoring, let alone School, is a mind-numbing, creativity-sucking time of the year. With the holiday season in swing, it's just two more weeks and we'll be home safe and free. The idea of presents, Christmas lights, cookies, and emasculating drinks at Starbucks just thrills the inner young-adult inside me.
     Whatever your profession be--tutor, teacher, professor, writer, student, parent--good luck and enjoy your holidays; be grateful for what you have, the time spent together with friends, and the hard work you put towards your passions and studies.


But don't even get me started on Winter Intercession.
    

The Sulking, Working, Studying, Preparing, Walking Dead

 Working as a tutor in the writing center, it's very common to get started on a discussion completely unrelated towards the student's assignments. I find myself going on about my own personal writing issues, current events relating to argumentative essays, and even the occasional discussion of entertainment. Last night I talked with someone about "Assassin's Creed 3," which already has a strong following, but a few days ago I brought up "The Walking Dead"--big mistake. I love the television show. AMC has pulled out such a great piece of illustrated literature, and created something that really dives into the human mind once put under horrible pressure. As they say in the show, "kill the dead, fear the living," which completely personifies the series in one clear, concise statement. Because of the drama it presents, "The Walking Dead," and the idea of a zombie apocalypse, is seen everywhere.
     One of my supervisors was walking by me and another student while I was trying to give an understanding of paragraph transitions. I modeled it after T.W.D. (The Walking Dead), saying how each episode ends, and begins, on a strong note that melds together easily. My supervisor turned, her eyes wide, hands in the air above her head, and almost screamed. "Oh god, how could they do that to her?!" She shouted, referring to the death of one of the main characters. The student was startled, and I couldn't help myself but laugh. The supervisor goes to the waiting area, where other students exclaim a mutual understanding. That wasn't the end of it.
     After all my appointments were done for the night, I was put onto Walk-In List duty; I tutor the students who weren't able to schedule an appointment, but wait for an open slot. Tuesday nights are always relaxed, and not many students are in by eight at night, an hour before closing. My supervisor comes out from her office and towards me with that same look of anger on her face: "How could they do it, John?!" She covered her face. I laughed. For the next thirty minutes, we go into a discussion on the literature, ideals, and acting within the show. It's always a blast when your co-workers have mutual interest, no?
     In a society that lives in the new frontier, the internet, there are many ways students, co-workers, or even family can relate to one another. With the belief of the oncoming end of the world (which, I've learned, has already passed on the Mayan Calendar..), so many  people spend their time preparing for the worst: not earthquakes, tornadoes, or floods--but zombies. Television has shows focused on bunker/safety preparation ("Dooms Day Preppers"), weaponry ("Future weapons", or any show that features exploding stuff on the Military and National Geographic Channel), and obtaining large amounts of food for storage ("Extreme Couponing"). To say that our population is a little obsessed is a complete understatement.
     Looking at the obsession, it feels to me that it stems from a primal fear: fear of the unknown. When the apocalypse comes, we won't really know what to do. As humans, we have so many things in our homes and possession that to begin thinking on what to save, and what to trash, would be mind numbing. We wouldn't be able to begin to understand the depression of losing a loved one right in front of us, let alone if it crawled back up and sprinted at you, screaming. As a society, we're not ready for such a devastation--but you can be sure as hell we have some ideas.